The End ? ? ?

So 2012 was suppose to be the end of the world.. It was suppose to bring a world of change to a lot of things.. Of course that didn't happen.. or else how would I be writing this on the last day of 2012... There were so many things that happened over the year that made this year significant.. I decided to venture out of my comfort and test out a new place & culture.. Even though I haven't physically taken that step yet.. I sense I have already mentally "checked out" of Calgary... There isn't much left for me to worry about here.. I do wish the time will pass by faster.. so I can take that 1 last step.. Maybe it is the wrong move.. both life and career wise.. but I believe this is a step I must take to further myself as a person.. I also passed the 1 of the most difficult exams for any professional designation.. I look forward to finishing up the CFA program and go 3 for 3.. Even though I won't have the experience to get the designation.. finishing the exams is a good 1st step... 2012 was definitely a roller-coaster ride for me... I was on top of the world in the summer.. and then I fell rock bottom by July... The mistake I made was something that shouldn't have happened.. but I guess as a learning lesson.. it was probably the best case scenario... I do look forward to 2013 & all the investing possibilities.. One can make $$ either way... It just depends on how smart you are to pick up on it.. I guess the last thing 2012 brought was the sense of perspective on things... I guess it comes back to me "checking out" of Calgary already.. Things that used to be really important aren't even things on my mind anymore.. People that were once great friends are now just friends.. I do believe a few years away will erode friendships to acquaintances.. I was just too slow to realize the simple steps of life.. Or I was naive to think things would be different.. Either way.. doesn't matter much anymore.. 2012 is past & 2013 is present.. Not so naive to say by the strike of 12.. I'll be a changed person.. but 2013 will bring forth changes.. I look forward to it..

End of Another Chapter ? ? ?

Well today is another chapter of my life completed... Final day at work after 16 months on the job... doing something I am interested in.. & something that is quite challenging... but I guess Calgary itself just isn't the place for me.. I've kinda already conceded another chapter of my life will end once i pack up my bags & fly to Hong Kong.. I hope that it'll happen sometime between January of 2013 to June 2013... Still kinda undecided on the time frame right now.. but I guess there are many moving parts.. Most notably.. will my parents downsize & I'll be looking to buy in Hong Kong rather than rent.. The uncertainty will once again begin as I do not have anything lined up & will be going into a situation completely in the dark!! I got friends and relatives over there.. but what good will that do if I can't even "Stand up alone" over there.. I maybe over-thinking this.. but I m pretty sure the uncertainty will eat me up as time goes by... On another note.. I realized I've slowly changed over the past year without actually realizing it.. I am now definitely a lot more alert to things that puts me in a bad position or people are simply trying to use you (Not in any significant way, but just small things in life).. I guess that also comes back to why Calgary probably is no longer in my future plans... Friends I've known for a while have this pre-conceived notion that I can be easily taken advantage of.. Things that offer the "greater good" for the group.. I'll do without asking cause I've tried to please everyone.. Well.. I have really changed I believe.. I don't care about the "greater good" anymore... Who cares if some person can't go to a gathering.. It's not like the gathering can't go on smoothly without them.. I've cared for too long for these things & I probably simply got tired.. There is no need for me to "ask" people more than once if they wanna go.. There should be no convincing on my part.. Is a simple "yes" or "no".. Other peoples decisions won't be influenced by what I say.. & I never thought I had that much pull with people anyways.. I've also started to question what the true definition of a "friend" truly is.. As more of my "friends" get married or have serious commitments.. they seem to become more and more distant.. Priorities are important I guess.. but when communication is 1-sided.. The person always making the effort will get tired.. I am at that point now!! Tired of always being the person saying hi to people to see how they are.. I used to care alot.. Now I simply do not care.. I guess that leads me back to point 1 about slight change.. I could now see who are the people I can depend on simply by the fact they have made an effort to keep contact with me.. Whether its a simple text or call.. At least the communication is 2-sided.. When I do leave for good.. I know I'll keep in touch with these people regardless of time difference or tiredness.. a Simple Whatsapp message goes a long way to show I am still the same old Ken they used to know.. =)

Experience ? ? ?

Well straight off my 2 weeks in Hong Kong.. I find there will be a massive adjustment in lifestyle to fit into the culture of Hong Kong.. The tempo is significantly faster than Calgary.. but i guess that isn't even the primary concern.. Tempo is pretty easy to manage in my opinion.. U can say the people there aren't as friendly over there as Canada.. but I think they are simply more busy to care.. the way people think over there is all about what gets u more ahead than others.. I do not like the snotty sense of lifestyle they have either.. as dressing preppy n stuff makes u "classy".. I juss dress whatever I want.. but it has nothing to do with being classy or not.. I could be rich n i'll still dress like a fresh grad with no net worth.. but i guess that isnt a major obstacle either.. Working over there mite be the biggest problem unfortunately.. As it has alwayz been!! Low pay.. long hours.. sounds like the norm... hahaha.. but living through budgeting sounds intriguing.. I did learn alot over there compared to over here.. u can live a very frugal lifestyle if u wish.. or u can live a very "baller" type.. i nver intended to live like a baller anyways.. .Juss enuf to live well is good enuf for me...

Crossroad ? ?

When you are at a point in life where a decision to go either way makes sense.. You choose the best possible scenario or the one that makes you the happiest.. If only this world is a singular space.. where your own decisions do not influence others.. Unfortunately.. the world does not just revolve around you.. Each decision you make can influence others in a positive or negative way... I try to make decisions to lessen the influence on the negative side.. but my responsible mind continues to remind me this decision is not just about me.. The ripple effects that follow dun make this easier.. Though not as young as I was 3 years ago... Should I consider taking risks while I m young as a good reason to go 1 way over the other? Or is self-sacrifice the easy way out? I've always believed my 25th year (2012) will be a year of change.. I dunno if it is a change of scenery.. change of the mind.. or change in personality.. but change is definitely what is happening.. Whether good or bad.. I still have 3 months to go.. As I can tell right now.. 1 road points to risk.. chance.. n learning something new.. the other is about responsibility.. a promise.. n learning to settle.. realizing the chance to take risks might have ended..

Appreciation ? ?

Probably shouldn't be blogging @ work.. but owellz.. Just read an article on some1's facebook about how to start the day on the right note.. I completely agree with what it says.. The sticking point throughout the article was.. "If you consider this day as your last day... would you like what you are going to do today"... I've said no for a long time now.. but I am always thinking to myself... HSBC had this before.. & now this place has it... The problem might be from within? I've said to many friends these days.. I simply do not have a lot of appreciation to the things I currently have in my life.. Since I live at home.. I've never had to worry about shelter & food.. Since I grew up here.. I never had a shortage of contacts to call if I needed something... Since my parents are here... I have never hesitated to call it quits or take risks.. The hesitation comes from my thought about the lack of appreciation I got... Lots of people would love to have my job.. love to have a home without a job & food to eat.. I fully understand this lack of appreciation for simple life necessities will eventually stunt my progress in life.. which I think it has already begun.. My friend might've said it best.. "You have never been stressed".. That comment might be extreme.. but the things I stress about aren't even life's simplest things.. I stress about career direction.. passing exams.. am I making the right decisions.. NOT.. if i have a job.. if i have some food on the table.. or if i have a bed to sleep on... Perseverance through the bad times is something not known until you truly face it... I don't even think I've been through hard times.. Just an important time in life I guess.. Until I find any sort of appreciation.. I don't think I can ever find my inner potential..

Up ?

So every1 I've talked to about the movie "Up" has given me a sense that the movie is really sad.. especially where the wife leaves the husband after many years of marriage.. I guess they also point to how the husband lost everything he had ever known because of some greedy real estate developer wanting the land.. I don't remember what I was feeling when I 1st watched the movie.. but I still don't really see the sadness of the movie.. I guess it is sad that the wife passed away before the husband.. but at the same time.. It is a fact of life there will be birth and death.. it comes hand in hand.. You cannot have 1 without the other.. I actually found the opening scenes of the movie quite happy and interesting.. Happy in the sense that both the husband and wife were able to find the "1" at a young age and lived for a long time.. Let's just say not every1 can say they did that in their life.. Even though the wife was unable to do what she planned to do.. She might have gained much more by being by the husband's side.. At 1 point in her life.. Going to discover a new place in the world might've been the most important.. but after marriage.. that might have changed.. Metaphorically speaking.. I was happy when the husband "lost" of all the things that cling to his past.. Basically the monetary or physical things that he lost were always in his memory.. Even if he loses them.. he will have it in his heart and memory forever stored away.. I feel like the movie showed us alot of perseverance and letting go of the past.. however difficult it might be.. Even though it was just a movie.. the way he started letting go and discovering the new meaning of life.. is inspiring!

Decision ?

Ever since I finished my exam.. I've let myself loose.. but somehow I've had this thing hang over my head for quite some time now.. As the economy continues to deteriorate in Europe.. Major concerns in Asia's growth is coming to question.. If I do make the venture to HK in hopes to starting a new life there.. Is that truly a good decision given wut I know of the economy right now? What is unknown is still the future.. but as more data comes up.. there is more reason to back out of my original thought.. So many what if(s) in my head right now.. Maybe over the past few weeks.. I've gone back to the state of mind from before.. being as risk averse as possible and making sure a good chance of success before I start "investing".. As much as I've been successful over the past weeks in investing.. I've lost it quite literally.. I m starting to over think my trades.. just like over-thinking this decision.. Is it the end of the world if I choose wrong? Probably not.. but at the same time.. It'll set me back a few years probably.. While others have continually worked @ their jobs for 5+ years in hopes of advancement in their company.. I haven't stayed at a firm for more than 1 and a half year.. Maybe its just me not finding the true passion.. Or it could be I am in the wrong place at the wrong time.. I simply do not have that kind of appreciation for a job as others do.. Is the root cause in my thoughts because of that? Too much comfort.. too little appreciation.. life has been too easy and simple?

Good - Bye ?

So 2day was an official goodbye to a dear friend.. O how we have grown over the years.. Her wedding & constant growth in her career is surely going to keep her busy for quite a while... Where I will be on the verge of venturing into a new realm in a foreign place... I told her 3 things before we parted ways.. Thank you.. Don't forget.. & "Good-bye".. In all honesty.. I do not see myself seeing her for a long long time.. She might come to visit.. but given the distance & time difference.. it will be quite difficult to accomplish.. I really wanna go to her wedding and wish her well.. but if all goes well.. Will I even have time?

What I know right now is.. "Under Promise & Over-Deliver".. What I don't know is the future.. =)