I have truly lost the will to continue fighting on.. Almost into the completely giving up mode.. but every time I have that thought.. I never let myself continue forward.. Even though I keep saying I'll eventually give up.. I've never actually done it.. since there is always a hidden voice somewhere that says no.. Itz like a boxer in the ring and taking a beating for 10 rounds straight.. Competitive spirit and drive keeps the boxer going until the very end.. Even though the outcome is going to be a loss anyways.. it is this competitive spirit and drive that keeps them who they are.. Once you lose it.. you lose yourself.. Where am I in that process? I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.. Results haven't gone the way I thought it would.. So what now? Hold your head held high and keep going?? Isn't that what life is all about?? Life isn't suppose to be a cakewalk.. It should be full of challenges and brick walls to run into.. but at the same time.. shouldn't there be pockets of space where you get a break? I've ran into many brick walls.. fall off.. come back again.. I don't blame anyone of my circumstance except for myself.. but can't I catch a break? I already chose the wrong major in University.. I graduated at the height of the financial crisis.. I graduated with a degree that was prized pre-08.. now its not so great anymore.. I took and finished a self-directed course on something that was considered the pinnacle of the field.. I've gotten "0" return on any of that.. But I still don't blame any of that on anyone else.. it was all on me!
Life is tough.. I know the worst probably isn't over yet.. but what can I do?
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