Giving Up ? ? ?

After what has transpired over the past 8 months or so.. I am ready to just throw in the towel and say it's over.. I've read alot about how negativity will feed on more negativity.. so people should always be positive in tough situations.. There will always be light at the end of the tunnel.. Or the darkest moment is always before dawn.. I used to keep that in mind to remind myself that there will be light.. things will turn for the better as my life spiral out of control.. I thought passing the CFA level 3 exam would be a good start! It was an achievement that few others have accomplished.. There are only 120k charterholders in the world.. Even though I can't get the designation yet.. Time will pass and I will get it in 13 months.. Those were all positive thoughts going through my mind.. as I truly thought it was a turning point.. I even got a phone call for a job interview.. The job was quite interesting and I will say.. I am very much interested in doing that kind of work for the next 4 or 5 years before I decide if i should get an MBA or not.. Seems positive and all.. but unfortunately.. it doesn't seem like I got the job.. whether my interview performance was that bad.. or they found someone internal.. I do not know yet.. but as of now.. I can only admit to the fact that I did not get the job.. 

It has been a really rough 8-9 months.. Worse than the last time I went thought this.. I guess it comes to my age and how much I am falling behind others in the same age category.. I don't know how to put a positive spin on anything anymore.. As I continue to try and think of positive thoughts.. I can visibly see myself lying to myself to keep being positive.. Don't give up on things yet.. but I don't want to lie to myself anymore.. The situation hasn't gotten better and I don't know what to do anymore.. It's not even a situation of should I go back to HK or not anymore.. It's become a situation where I am just asking myself.. at what point will things turn up.. I always thought to myself.. Obstacles are thrown at you in life to keep you on the move.. improving yourself constantly.. When you pass the obstacles.. new paths will show up to guide you through your life.. new doors will open as old ones close.. Well.. I am probably in no mans land right now.. since old doors have closed and new doors have not been opened.. Maybe its a sign to just give in and let darkness consume me..