That Humbling Feeling ? ? ?

Over the past few weeks.. I've had this feeling of humble-ness.. Never in the past 5 years have I looked myself in the mirror this many times to try and see myself again.. The once self-confident kid that could make things happen.. the self-belief that I had the intelligence and smarts to do well in life.. Well 5 years later.. I've been completely humbled from this experience.. Reality sure has a way to humble you where it hurts.. I am not mad.. just disappointed.. Throughout life.. Someone higher up will throw obstacles your way to test your mental and physical capabilities.. I guess you can say I passed the last 2 times.. But this time its completely different.. I feel like I've started to lose grip of the situation.. Losing the battle sorta speak.. I haven't played the game correctly.. so I am losing the battle.. I guess since I m still alive and well.. I still got a 2nd chance to turn this game around.. but do I really have the will and strength to try to win this battle anymore?? Some people see things as opportunities and some as obstacles.. Positive VS Negative energy?? Obviously I see obstacles.. does that mean I am negative?? I don't think so.. I've been positive for a long time.. but as time passes.. negativity will creep in.. its just inevitable..

I've seen & read both sides of my story.. Technically I am really blessed to be where I am at in life right now with no significant problems.. To me.. life is very fair.. you gain some and lose some.. Always a balancing act.. To many rich & successful people.. Average people might see them with everything they could ask for.. but on the inside.. they probably have some gains and losses we just do not see.. Same for the poor.. We see them as people with nothing.. but life is fair.. For me.. Health/Friendship/Family are all things I consider to be positive in life.. Of course.. the negative side is Money/Career/Love.. I think that's where the issue lies.. compromise.. to gain you must lose.. What would I choose to lose to gain?? I see friends with everything right now.. Or that's what it seems.. I don't wish ill will on anyone I know.. but life is fair.. When its all said and done.. each person's 天坪 will equal out.. Just a matter of time..