First of Many ? ? ?

The first of many conversations I'll be having with family about the potential move to Hong Kong for job hunting purposes.. I am sure the mood was pretty shocking considering my mom was quite silent after I let them know.. Technically I didn't plan on telling them at that dinner.. but I guess it just had to come out as they were still discussing their plans to buy a new property... A new mortgage now will be essentially paid off by myself and my brother.. Unfortunately.. if I leave Calgary for good.. I probably will not have the financial might to help pay off that mortgage and still have $$ left over for Hong Kong expenses.. This leaves my brother with the brunt of the mortgage payments.. which is pretty harsh and unfair on my part.. I've contemplated on this issue for the past week or so.. Maybe I should consider staying in Calgary for another few years.. Pay off this new mortgage.. & then leave.. so my brother will not have to face such a financial burden.. Or I shouldn't even consider.. I should just do what is right and stay! Use my head to think and not my heart!!.. How I use my head to think all the time.. yet in situations like this.. I decide to follow my heart.. where emotional thinking is normally the wrong way of decision making as it is not rational at times.. I know why I am so torn inside.. But I also know rational thinking and decision making normally wins out.. Sigh

Funny thing.. 10 minutes after I wrote the 1st paragraph.. My mind started filling up with the reasoning for this HK endeavor.. Life experience and testing myself with almost no1 in my life in a foreign area.. These conflicting issues are definitely not kind to me.. They are like shadows of each other.. One must follow the other.. I think this is a moment in my life where I will have regret no matter what direction I choose.. Stay to help family will be disobeying my own wishes for life experiences.. Leaving for life experiences will be dishonoring my family and letting them fend for themselves.. Oooo Life.. Why must you be like this!