Back from a recent trip out east.. I did some interesting thinking between the last post to today.. Over that time.. I couldn't keep my frustration in check on the last day.. & Just called out 1 of the people I was with when we got into a miniscule argument about the term "accident".. I've met alot of people who like to win at everything.. No matter what the argument is.. Thinking if the argument is won.. they don't lose face.. Yet they don't realize.. Not everything needs to be won.. In the grand scheme of things.. there is no need to "win" at everything.. even though you're wrong.. There are alot of different viewpoints and opinions.. Aside from that incident.. I thought of myself and the things that I show as a person in front of others.. Many people tend to think I talk a lot.. But as I've matured.. I've toned down quite a bit.. I don't believe I need to start conversations with anyone.. It should just come naturally.. I don't have to forcefully win arguments with anyone or make people think a certain way.. I just let people be.. & Possibly provide pointers along the way..
As this introspection process takes place.. My friend sent me a quote that reminded her of me.. "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new".. I read that & thought to myself.. That's not me!! But as I let it soak in.. I can totally see that quote in me.. I haven't changed 1 bit because I've focused on making things rite from the past.. I've not let go of the wrongs I've done.. & tried to right those wrongs by doing things better in the future.. Of course.. I cant do anything about the past anymore.. but I cling onto it.. Hoping I can.. I thought to myself on the trip about the past.. Everything that was the past showed up.. The constant hazing by friends.. the immature jokes.. the lack of respect from others.. the indecision of others making me have to decide.. & then take the fall when the decision goes wrong.. I've spent so much energy and time fighting the old and not focusing on the new.. That's why I've become stagnant over time.. I realize I'm probably hanging out with the wrong group of people.. I don't party.. don't drink.. don't pick up chicks.. yet.. I hang out with some people like that.. Time for change.. It starts with building blocks for the new.. Not trying to take down building blocks of the old..
After going through my friends wedding.. I stared out to the open green-ness behind the podium as the pastor was speaking.. I was listening to what the Pastor had to say.. but at the same time.. thinking of the years I've known the bride.. 19 to be exact.. Both my oldest friends from grade 2 or 3 in elementary have gotten married and ventured into their new life.. I looked at the leaves and natural backdrop and thought to myself.. It's been that long already.. At the same moment.. I had this thought.. Maybe my path was set out to witness both of their weddings.. A sign that I should turn over a new leaf in my life as well.. As old friends flip to another chapter.. 我要創造光輝十年
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